12-Step Rundown of Every Episode of ‘Fringe’
For those of you who have not seen the TV show ‘Fringe’, here’s a quick rundown of every single episode:
1. Open on high-shock-value theoretical science crime (eg. Woman gives birth to cannibalistic rat-man hybrid; hairless, pandimensional alien blows up a bus, etc.)
2. Team called in. Hard-boiled lady FBI agent cancels her dinner plans.
3. Mad scientist examines the bodies, immediately comes up with an explanation, then mumbles something about poop or penises.
4. Mad scientist’s son with an IQ of 190 states out loud he doesn’t understand anything that’s going on.
5. Similar crime committed. Lady agent asks for assistance from highly-questionable cyborg CEO of menacing global corporation.
6. No one knows what to do.
7. Mad scientist remembers the solution to everyone’s problem is hidden somewhere in his house by the beach.
8. Solution retrieved, leads to a suspect.
9. Foot chase. Lady agent gets a cut on her forehead.
10. Suspect is killed or sedated; menacing global corporation hides the evidence.
11. Mad scientist says he’s hungry, lab assistant rolls her eyes.
12. Tease to larger overarching story that feels like it will never, ever get resolved.
There. Now you’ve at least seen every episode I have. No need to watch. You’re welcome and good night.